Anne-Marie Southcombe

Is there something you want to do but...

Is there something you want to do but for some reason you haven’t started doing it yet? Like trying a new sport, changing career, engaging in social activities, public speaking, singing in public, going back to study etc. In what way are you stopping yourself? Are you aware of how you are holding yourself back?

 

Every time I came close to committing, something would stop me

I spent more than three years THINKING about becoming a life coach before actually signing up to do a course. During those three years, I spent long hours googling courses, I read coaching books, I attended coaching sessions, I practiced coaching myself, I talked at length (to whoever would listen) about how much I wanted to do it, I tried to figure out all the ways in which I could make it happen BUT every time I came close to committing, something would stop me. Something that felt like (and probably was) a valid reason. Reasons that I thought were beyond my control. Reasons like: my husband had started a new job that entailed long hours and a lot of commuting. There were no accredited coaching courses in Sligo so that meant I’d have to spend whole weekends away which wouldn’t be fair on my husband or the kids. There wasn’t enough money (is there ever?) or the timing just wasn’t right. So I’d give up and put it on the back burner, only to find myself obsessing about it in front of Google again. Sound familiar?

 

I took a leap of faith

So what happened? Well it just reached a point where I got so fed up that I took (what felt like) a leap of faith, signed up for a course and started working on solutions to all the perceived obstacles in my way. And despite all the odds I earned the extra money required to pay for the course, I found the extra time to study and complete my assignments, my husband and family supported me 100% and I achieved my diploma in Executive and Life Coaching.

 

I had spent 3 years stopping myself

The thing is, from the benefit of hindsight and coaching, what I realise is that NOBODY ever said any of the above reasons to me, not my husband, not my kids, not my family and not my friends. It was just ME. I was the one who told myself the story of all the reasons why I could not become a coach and I spent 3 years stopping myself from doing it without realising.

 

If you look for problems you'll find them, so how about looking for solutions instead

So what are you telling yourself? If you look for problems you’ll find them, so how about looking for solutions instead. Don’t get me wrong, its good to be aware of the obstacles but then spend the necessary time figuring out your options. One of the biggest obstacles most people face is their own self talk but when you become aware of the story you are telling yourself, you then have the power to change it.

 

Notice your self talk... what are you telling yourself? What are you believing and how is it affecting you?